I used to get bored a lot when I was a bit younger. You know, when you are used to going out, drinking and doing all sorts of stupid things, you easily get bored once you're alone at home and don't know what to do with your time.

And you need to do something, because if you don't, you will start thinking, and if you think... well, you might realize what a useless piece of shit you actually are, and nobody wants that.

So, when I was bored I was still getting all sorts of stupid ideas. I almost…

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There is a blind man living in my neighborhood. We used to hang out near his house a few years ago and we heard a lot of stories about the guy.

At first, he seemed to be just an old blind man, but soon we realized that there is much more interesting stuff about him.

His son is a heroin addict, and they live in a small house with no power or anything normal. Now, this may sound sad to you, but the guy is crazy. When he was younger he used to drop bombs on companies when they fire him.

He…

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Almost every man was sometimes sexually attracted to some of his teachers. It just happens, and you can't blame yourself.

Now, we all know how that goes. When you're a kid, and you think you're a man, you are going to talk about that kind of stuff with your mates all day long.

We were basically bunch of losers at a time. Every day we were hanging out in front of some store because they were selling cheap beer and that was all we needed. It was an ordinary, family store where people were…

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It is my opinion that everybody hates funerals. I certainly do, because all those places where I need to be completely serious are just not made for me.

Now, once you are on the funeral, all you need to do to stay out of radar is not to be the worst. But few years ago when my best friend lost his grandpa I somehow didn't realize that getting drunk before the funeral is not such a good idea.

I admit it, I came there in style. I was dressed like a cowboy although I'm just a punk, and I was so…

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You know how sometimes life has a funny way to provide justice? Sometimes you can see it, and sometimes, well, you just don't have a clue.

It was a few years ago, and I didn't wanted to come out of bed so I putted a used condom in pack of cigarettes that my friend left me earlier that day. I know it doesn't make any sense to do that, but you know how laziness can convince you to do unbelievable things.

I certainly do know that. So for some reason, even though everything leaked out of that…

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Many people walk through life acting like they are somebody else. But me and my brother, we do that with style.

Every time we see something that we like, we basically become that. Now, you would think that everyone does that sometimes, but believe me, they don't. At least not so extreme.

I still remember that time when my brother started listening to GG Allin. Every week he was getting naked in public and he started to hate everyone. He was prepared to talk about violence for hours to…

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I have a band and we had a gig in some godforsaken town a year ago today. I don't know why, but every time that my friends and I go somewhere together everything ends up bad for us.

We started packing early in the morning as we wanted to spend some time in that place before the gig starts. We took a bus and started to drink, because, let’s be realistic, there is no point in going somewhere if you want to be sober.

It was Saturday, and we came just in time to find a place where we can watch a…

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Well, it is kind of hard when you have to live with a broken heart, but for an idiot like me, it is even harder. And I'm not saying that my problems are bigger than anyone else's, I just don't deal with them. Even worse, I feed them, with alcohol, cigarettes and misery. 

It was back in time when I fell in love with some random girl whom I thought was the love of my life. I'll spare you the story, she wasn't. And once I realized that, I started to drink and live like an animal.

Actually, I…

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Once the summer came and the football season was over, there was only one thing that my friends and I could do: drinking till the morning and making fools of ourselves.

There is absolutely no reason for doing that, but again - there is no reason not to. And I can tell you that there is some unique kind of pleasure in recalling things that some of your friends have done last night, and laughing at them once you see them again.

So basically, it was just one more normal night in the same old…

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As any other night, I was hanging out with my friends. It was one of those warm summer nights made for spending time by the river, drinking and talking about things that we've talked a million times before.

Just when we thought that this will be a casual night, we found out that one of our best friends needed too much time to come.

We tried to call him, but he was too nervous and kept repeating "Don't call me, I will come, I just need a little more time".

I can say that by that time I was a…

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