Finding a girlfriend is an easy part, most of the girls are quite pretty and they are quite interesting at first. But my best friend always struggled to have a normal relationship. All of his girlfriends were somehow crazy, they yelled at him a lot and some of them were quite evil too. I mean, I told him a lot of times not to be in relationship with the girls from art school, that they are all crazy and they have always broke my heart. Sadly, he had to learn that on his own.
But once he had a normal relationship and normal girlfriend. She was a good looking girl, she loved him and they really understood each other. He was happy, he stopped drinking and he wasn’t making an idiot of himself as much as he always did. We loved that time he spent with her, cause honestly, we were sick of him making the same mistakes over and over again.
Of course, he fucked it up… He saw some girl in school always looking at him and he became obsessed. We tried to tell him that it’s nothing, that he is already in happy relationship, and that she probably wasn’t looking at him at all. Of course, we failed to convince an idiot that random girl from his school isn’t the love of his life.
He spent days watching her facebook profile, he knew everything about her but he never spoke a word to her. One day everything changed, he came to my house with big news: “Mate, I’ll just say it, that girls loves me! She came to me today and asked me for a cigarette! That’s a proof right there, she’s in love with me!”
He started talking about breaking up with his girlfriend but we begged him not to do that. He promised us that he won’t break up with her, but he said he’ll do that if he is sure that this girl is in love with him. We hoped he will stop, but he never did. One night, I was drinking with some punk rock kids from the street, and that girl was there too. She told me that she can’t help herself and that she is constantly looking at my best friend, cause he looks to her a lot like that actor, Gerard Depardieu.
I couldn’t wait to tell him, it was so funny to me as I knew he was ugly, but I never knew that anyone could be that ugly. I came to school tomorrow and he started talking:
“Alright, I’m sure now, that girl is in love with me! She posted my favorite song on facebook yesterday, it’s so obvious now!”
“Mate, I don’t want to break your heart, but I was drinking with her last night and… Well I don’t know how to say this, but she’s only looking at you cause she thinks you look like Gerard Depardieu!”
“You’re lying, that can’t be true… please tell me that you’re making this up???”
“Well, no. Why, what happened?”
“Oh my god… I sent her a message five minutes ago; I told her that I’m in love with her. Shit, I even broke up with my girlfriend…”
“You did what??? You broke up with her on her birthday? Oh, you’re such a gentleman…”
And that was it… He finally made an idiot out of himself. He never knew it was her birthday. He was just sitting there quite depressed, smoking his cigarette, looking like Gerard Depardieu.