Once the summer came and the football season was over, there was only one thing that my friends and I could do: drinking till the morning and making fools of ourselves.

There is absolutely no reason for doing that, but again - there is no reason not to. And I can tell you that there is some unique kind of pleasure in recalling things that some of your friends have done last night, and laughing at them once you see them again.

So basically, it was just one more normal night in the same old shitty town of ours. We went out for a few drinks and it ended up with us having more than we can handle.

It's okay if you do that quite often as we certainly do. What's not okay is me making a fool of myself. At first, I just had a few beers, then I thought that some wine will suit me fine, after that I switched to the rum, and that is how the whole night started for me.

While everybody was still there I was just talking what the bad women look like. Then I talked about football for a while, since that is a subject I cannot ignore. After an hour of talking that Joe Allen is the best football player in the world and how much I would love to see him in West Ham, some of my friends had enough and started to go home one by one.

So there I was, with two of my friends who were just drunk enough to stay with me. We were at the same level but all of us had different needs so we had to split out for an hour. One of my friends went out to eat, while the other one came with me to buy us some cigarettes.

On the way back from store, we came across one of those fancy restaurants. It was all shiny and cool, and while I was drinking rum, my friend turned to me and said:

"Hey, don't you think one of those chairs will suit you to look like a king?"

I just looked at the shiny place and answered "Don't say a word; I know what you're thinking."

Then I went into the restaurant and just took one of those fancy chairs. Nobody even tried to stop me.

We went back to our place and while he was sitting on the ground, I was sitting in my new, expensive chair. Half an hour later, my other friend came back. He saw me sitting in that chair and cried:

"For Christ sake mate, what have you done???"

"I'm a pirate, I took this chair! It is mine now" I answered him.

"You're not a pirate, you're a bloody moron! Why would someone even do such a thing?"

I had no need to answer that question as I was sitting in my chair feeling like a king.

A few hours later, we all went home. It was a hard job for me as I was carrying a pretty big chair on my back. But in the end, I did it.

Tomorrow I woke up with a terrible headache, all bitter and ashamed. That same old feeling hold me lying down with my eyes closed, talking to myself:

"God, please let it all be a dream. Please, let me open my eyes and see that everything is just normal."

 

But it wasn't. That bloody chair was looking at me. It stood there looking at me like a trophy, saying "You are the biggest moron on the Earth."