Stories


Ah, the humble music festival. It's a rite of passage for countless young people, and being a heavy metal fiend my youth, my teens and twenties were defined by an annual pilgrimage to Donington for the Download Festival. Exciting times!  

Sadly, one such expedition didn't go strictly according to plan  this is the story of how I was never trusted to arrange such an event again 

So, things got to a slightly rocky start when my friend came to collect me at the crack of dawn and interrupted my…

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It was a Saturday night like any other - which, at this point of my carefree twentysomething life, meant that it had involved copious amounts of Jack Daniels. You know the kind of evening in question - it was spent bar-hopping around the exotic climes of Romford, ensuring that while I like to imagine that I was smoother than silk the reality was more likely to resemble . Stumbling home after completing my night on the tiles, it was time for an uneventful night of restful sleep and no hangover…

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Many people walk through life acting like they are somebody else. But me and my brother, we do that with style.

Every time we see something that we like, we basically become that. Now, you would think that everyone does that sometimes, but believe me, they don't. At least not so extreme.

I still remember that time when my brother started listening to GG Allin. Every week he was getting naked in public and he started to hate everyone. He was prepared to talk about violence for hours to…

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Ah...the beauty and magic of the Greek Islands. Nothing like them in the world. One year, my significant other and I decided to visit Kos for a week. We'd picked a self-catering hotel near the beach that was recently completed. It was almost empty and very quiet. Just what we need for a relaxing getaway. Or we thought it was empty... Turns out we had roommates, but not the two-legged kind. Yep, the bugs were pretty big and enjoyed hanging out on the walls, particularly over the bed. Nothing…

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Normally, I wouldn’t agree to go on a blind date. The concept of meeting someone who I haven’t even spoken to is terrifying. 

Yet somehow I got roped into going by a friend who desperately wanted to set me up. 

I guess I didn’t think too much about it. I agreed to go and hoped she wouldn’t mention it ever again. 

But she did.  So, a week later I arrived at a restaurant I’d never been to before, waiting anxiously outside while I debated whether I should call a taxi and go home.   

In my…

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There's a lot to like about warm climates. . Where I spend a lot of time, you can enjoy all kinds of different activities, you don't have to dress like a Yeti to stay warm, and you can spend a lot more time outdoors. But it seems the hotter the temperature, the bigger the bugs.. Oh, and did I mention the odd snake? The few I've seen have been harmless, but there are rattlesnakes north of the area. Summer is really the best time to get up close and personal with the local fauna. Now I have no…

82

I have a band and we had a gig in some godforsaken town a year ago today. I don't know why, but every time that my friends and I go somewhere together everything ends up bad for us.

We started packing early in the morning as we wanted to spend some time in that place before the gig starts. We took a bus and started to drink, because, let’s be realistic, there is no point in going somewhere if you want to be sober.

It was Saturday, and we came just in time to find a place where we can watch a…

83

There’s always that one person who is known by their nickname. In my friendship group, that would be Unlucky Jack. 

Honestly, it’s been a long time since anyone has called him Jack. I guess it started the day he turned sixteen. He was meeting this girl from online  and they were planning on going ice skating. He told everyone about how he was so excited for this date and we warned him about the dangers of meeting someone online

In truth, we were happy for him because he hadn’t had the best…

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In the early days of my relationship with my then-boyfriend, I didn't see him that often because he was a first-class chef on a well-known cruise ship. I'd have to wait for the ship to return from its destination and then my boyfriend would usually have a few days of shore leave. I always looked forward to him coming back, but I was also excited to see the ship when it returned since we'd met on board when I took a transatlantic crossing to the UK after I graduated from university. On one…

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It had been a long time coming, but I’d nailed it – I’d managed to secure a date with a girl from work. I knew she’d succumb to my charms eventually – sometimes you just can’t fight destiny 

 

Any by charms, I basically mean grinning at her like a loon from across the open plan office  and eventually thinking maybe it might be a good idea to actually go talk to her 

 

I know, right? Terrifying. Unfortunately, I am very, very old, and this was a time before WhatsApp and Snapchat. Back in…

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