I used to get bored a lot when I was a bit younger. You know, when you are used to going out, drinking and doing all sorts of stupid things, you easily get bored once you're alone at home and don't know what to do with your time.

And you need to do something, because if you don't, you will start thinking, and if you think... well, you might realize what a useless piece of shit you actually are, and nobody wants that.

So, when I was bored I was still getting all sorts of stupid ideas. I almost…


Several years after my first Halloween handout at my condo, I was handing out candy with a friend in another city. We'd done it the previous year with costumes and/or masks and makeup, but this year we wanted to make it memorable. So we went all out with preparation. We downloaded this really hardcore Halloween music and looped it onto an iPad. One of the best parts of the music was a ghoul saying, "I will eat you."  Then we decorated the porch with hanging body parts, spider webs, bats,…


There is a blind man living in my neighborhood. We used to hang out near his house a few years ago and we heard a lot of stories about the guy.

At first, he seemed to be just an old blind man, but soon we realized that there is much more interesting stuff about him.

His son is a heroin addict, and they live in a small house with no power or anything normal. Now, this may sound sad to you, but the guy is crazy. When he was younger he used to drop bombs on companies when they fire him.



We've seen all the movies...we've heard all the stories...but Ouija boards are the real deal? Come on...Or so I thought. Back in the eighth grade I hung out with a friend who had a Ouija board. You always found them in the game aisles of toy stores, so it seemed like something fun to do. One day I was hanging out at her house. We were in her room and by ourselves, so we decided to play. It was something different. What could it hurt?We placed our fingers on the planchette and asked the usual…


Job hunting is a strange experience. The whole idea is that we don our finery and present the possible version of ourselves as though we're cattle at a marketplace, suggesting that any employer will be left wondering just how they managed to run a business without us for as long as they had  

Sady, the reality is that, by the time we make it to an interview, we end up a stammering mess, unable to article the devilishly witty responses we'd been preparing for days 

I say we - it's quite…


Almost every man was sometimes sexually attracted to some of his teachers. It just happens, and you can't blame yourself.

Now, we all know how that goes. When you're a kid, and you think you're a man, you are going to talk about that kind of stuff with your mates all day long.

We were basically bunch of losers at a time. Every day we were hanging out in front of some store because they were selling cheap beer and that was all we needed. It was an ordinary, family store where people were…


I love getting invited to weddings. Free food, free drinks and free entertainment – what’s not to love? 

When my friend invited me to her Aunt’s wedding I was so excited. I went out and bought a new dress, shoes and bag just for the occasion.  Every time we saw each other, we couldn’t stop talking about how excited we were.

Fast-forward to the day of the wedding and things are already not going to plan. 

My friend who had put on a little bit of weight recently discovered that her dress…


I was pretty excited when my SO and I moved into our new condo. We'd been living with my parents and were happy to have our own space. I was especially looking forward to Halloween. My family didn't celebrate it, so now I could finally run riot with some ideas brewing in my mind.As the big day approached, I went all out creating a creepy environment. I carved an evil pumpkin, put a candle inside and placed it by the door, and looped some seriously dark music.The piece de la resistance was my…


It is my opinion that everybody hates funerals. I certainly do, because all those places where I need to be completely serious are just not made for me.

Now, once you are on the funeral, all you need to do to stay out of radar is not to be the worst. But few years ago when my best friend lost his grandpa I somehow didn't realize that getting drunk before the funeral is not such a good idea.

I admit it, I came there in style. I was dressed like a cowboy although I'm just a punk, and I was so…


So, the seven-year anniversary of my time with my partner has just been and gone  Don't panic, this isn't a tale of woe that details the threat of the fabled seven-year itch - we're happier than we've ever been  in order to make the occasion, we were shooting the breeze the other night and I asked her to describe some of her abiding memories of our time together. "What amazing memories we've made!" I was thinking 

Now, as many of you will know, the fastest way to prick the balloon of a man's…

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