When someone tells me his business plan, I don’t look at him as a person that knows shit about business. Cause in my neighborhood business is not fancy suits, expensive cars and lots of money, it’s just a bunch of useless ideas that will never make you money, things that Trotters will probably do. For example, few guys made a business out of a simple idea like beating the shit out of somebody’s teacher. So if you don’t like your grades, you know where to come! It’s simple as that.
Well, in that time, me and my friend, we watched a lot of western movies. It is not a secret that we really though that we are cowboys and we made a plan to make some easy money! It’s not robbing a train, don’t get too excited! We thought of that too, but what can you really steal from a train nowadays. We thought of opening a saloon! Of course, we didn’t have any money, so we needed to make everything by ourselves.
“Look, I know a great place where we can open a saloon!” – my friend said
“Well, what are you waiting for, tell me???”
“It’s your garage mate! It’s a perfect place, don’t you think?”
“Oh my god, that’s a great idea! We don’t have to pay shit cause I own it!”
So we started working on my garage, and we started to plan everything. We had a table for gambling and we had tables for other guests. My friend got some homemade nargiles that were somehow made out of empty bottles and didn’t look or felt like nargiles, but hell, we don’t have any money, so it’s good enough. The drink, however, was a problem. We needed a drink, and we had no money to buy it.
“Hey, I know that you think we have a big problem, but what if I tell you that I have a solution?” – my friend said to me
“Well, tell me, cause we are broke and we are not buying anything!”
“Mate, I can make us some moonshine!”
“Oh come on, you don’t know how to do that, we don’t wanna kill our customers!” – I said
“What’s wrong with you? Come on, how hard can it be? If those hillbillies that we saw in movies can do it, so can I!”
“You don’t even know what you should do to make moonshine!”
“Look, I am going home to watch some tutorials on youtube, and I’m coming with moonshine tomorrow!”
So tomorrow I was ordering some tobacco seeds on ebay in order to grow it and sell it in our saloon. Suddenly, I got a call from my friend who I expected to come and bring that moonshine he made.
“Hi mate, how are you?” – he said
“Well I’m fine, I was just ordering some tobacco for our saloon. Where are you?”
“Look, forget about saloon, we are not doing it…”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
“Well, I ended up in hospital last night… I got poisoned cause I was drinking that moonshine I've made!”
Although his moonshine hasn’t managed to kill him, it killed our business plan to make a saloon and earn some easy money. What can I say; I guess not everyone is made to be a businessman.